Slow lemonade
I’ve thrived over the past 18 months.
Don’t get me wrong — I’ve experienced challenges. I’ve sat through a Zoom funeral (0/10 — do not recommend), sold a shared ownership flat afflicted by cladding in the middle of a pandemic (in case you were considering it, firmly not one for the bucket list). But when it comes to being forced to work from home, I’ve done alright.
I am an introvert — something I’ve always been aware of, and until just a few years ago have been embarrassed of. Having probably broken world records for the number of times “conscientious” (read: shy / quiet) appeared on my school reports, a career an industry (PR) that is by its nature gregarious and sociable, was perhaps an unconventional choice. This has certainly found its way into some feedback I’ve received over the years. “Be more like [insert name of colleague I always quietly was in awe of for their seemingly effortless ability to command a room]”. “Say something in a meeting — it doesn’t matter what it is, just be seen to say something”. All “advice” I’ve been given — although, thankfully, I now know I don’t need to follow to succeed.
I’m now more comfortable in my own skin, I think thanks to being older and wiser, and in no small part the likes of Susan Cain’s Quiet. But — as I’m sure many people on all ends of the introvert scale find — I will still find myself in a frequent struggle thanks to introversion. We’re more sensitive to external stimuli. Did you know, introverts will salivate more at the taste of lemon juice than an extrovert? (I felt this gave reassuring context to the flippancy of “when life gives you lemons…” versus my automatic reaction to plunge into anxiety in certain difficult situations…). This did explain to me why suddenly having the stress of choice (to travel, see people, put myself out there) taken away from me felt so liberating.
Being “on” is a stressor for me. Whether it’s an enhanced pressure of what I’m sure the majority of even many extroverts feel (e.g. presenting to a room of people), through to one of my most vulnerable days when the pressure of just existing within a group of people I’ll never see again, such as commuting, is exhausting. I have learnt to adapt to this, and I need to continue to nurture and develop these techniques, so that I can enjoy a healthy lifestyle. And I think it’s really important that I do use this to get back into the swing of being in the office more again. Thankfully, my company is supportive of a hybrid work model, appreciating that this once in a generation (please…!) event has given us all an opportunity to evaluate the way we work. And through this, it’s helped me realise that while I, for the majority of the time, have felt more in my comfort zone here, it’s not the case for everyone, nor is it the best way of working collaboratively for the future. And it still pays to push ourselves outside of those comfortable boundaries when we can, so we learn and develop. Even if that’s just the ability to turn around and say, “Do you know what? It was definitely more valuable to have sat back and listened in that meeting — which I know I do well — than it was to have mouthed off and added zero value” (advice from 30-something Beccie to 20-something Beccie there).
If anyone is still reading this (!) and would find it helpful, I’m going to collate some of the tips and advice on the return to the office — both for introverts on how to “re-adapt” and extroverts on how to support this. And if anyone has any advice — including from an extrovert’s perspective, I’d love to hear and share those too.
In the meantime, though:
- Don’t say anything just for the sake of it — but know that if you do feel comfortable to, even if it’s minimal, it’s worthwhile
- If life gives you lemons, it’s okay to take your time making lemonade
